Viewer discretion advised – Graphic images at the end of this post.
This past week on Jan 24th made It exactly six months, half a year, 26 weeks & 182 days since my accident. The Dr’s said it could’ve been six months before I would walk again.
To prepare for wheel chair access in our homes. When I heard that something rose up in me so big I had never felt before and knew that wouldn’t be that case, not for me. I’m so grateful I proved them wrong on so many levels and on that. The ramps that were built were never needed. I walked out of rehab and was determined no one would help me into the car, I would do it myself and I did just that. Today I’m still healing, emotionally and externally and learning to cope & to make the best out of a bad situation. I’ve come a really long way and I’m thankful to God for his healing provision! Because I wouldn’t be where I’m at today without it.
Six months ago in the beginning of all of this as I laid in the bed at the hospital with rods shooting from my hips ( an external fixator imagine a towel rack attached to your hips) me being the type that doesn’t sit still for long, I was stuck literally & in disbelief that this had happened. It was me, this happened to me.. I felt like I was in a dream. As I couldn’t feel my left leg or move my body from one position to the next on my own there I laid terrified. Early one morning I over heard my grandfather on the phone sitting in the hospital with me ( he is the most amazing man) telling my grandmother my skin was black on my backside and they were going to need to do another surgery ..this was the first I heard of it. I went into hysterics. I had no clue, there was another serious matter at hand. Something that would take much longer than my bones to heal. The skin on my backside had been so damaged from the accident and impact a major (hematoma) the skin it was dying and that’s why it was black. Some of the images I am sharing are of the wound I’ve been healing from and viewer digression is advised. It’s really hard sharing this after living this nightmare day in and day out. No one shared these images even with me for months. Until I could literally turn and see it for myself. I was mortified of myself. I had a crater on my backside.
For the past 6 months I’ve been healing and have felt like a zombie half the time taking one or two naps in a day, my energy level has been at an all time low but I finally feel like I’m getting stronger thank God! Over the past six months I’ve had a wound care team, home health and a nurse either every other day or everyday visiting and tending to me to help the wound heal. One of the guys on my wound care team always said I was tougher than some marines he knew that had been hurt, that made me feel good! (I was as tough as a marine, Maybe I should join the force haha ). .what a compliment. He would proceed to make jokes and then he would offer to rub my feet for me. Talk about husband goals lol! Take notes fellas.. He was the sweetest. I’ve drank a million protein drinks and eaten more chicken than I ever have because protein promotes healing. I started off with a wound vac in the hospital and left with a home version that was like a purse, pictured above that was my little friend. I was able to toss it right before Christmas! What a gift that was! My little vac friend I got to sleep with every night with and it went with me everywhere. What an amazing invention the wound vac is!
I dreaded it but was thankful for it at the same time. Whoever thought that up, thank you! Pictured below has been some of the stages of my wound from the very beginning to what it looks like today. And wow I’m amazed by God through this all, he has given me the strength to go through this even when I’ve felt like I’m going crazy. I had two skin graph surgeries to try and help it close up that partially took but weren’t as successful as we hoped to be. The area of the wound affected my sciatic nerve and thank God it’s been partially numb but I also can’t feel part of my left leg & foot. So I suppose it’s a blessing to some degree. I can tell feeling is starting to come back and the sciatic pain has eased as time has gone by, but imagine your heart beat going through your foot with shooting pain with each beat, that’s what its felt like. Many restless nights and wondering if the pain will ever go away even on pain meds and nerve meds thankfully I’m at a place now where I’m off the meds all together but just cope with the minimal pain now.
There have been days I’ve had no hope for myself but my wonderful Aunt who stayed with me a month and a few weeks at a time always kept my heart in check. Reminding me I was going to get through this and I was still here and things could have been worse. I hung onto that because It really could have been worse.
Whatever your facing, if you feel you have no hope remember your situation could be worse and God can be the only true provision.! I pray in this moment that he shows himself big in your circumstance. Joshua 1:9 God will never leave your side
Matthew 28:20- I am with you always.