the night, I died..

Over this past week each day leading up to today I have looked over this course of this year, replayed it day by day in my head, leading up to this year mark and I can’t believe its been a full year since my car accident today. A meaningless date turned catastrophic. A day like any other.. my life was turned upside down. I have struggled this past year like I’ve never know.. I was tested in every way possible to my knowledge. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

Sunday July 24th my life changed … I DIED .

I remember the day like it was yesterday and I can’t believe how conscious I was for it all.. I remember everything  except the initial crash of my accident.

So for those of you how don’t know the story here it is.. first blog post July 24, 2016

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I had been on many dates before, didn’t think anything of going on another one. It was a regular day like any other . . I went out had dinner we were having a great time and after went for a spin in his black corvette.. it was thrilling we had the t-top down, it had just rained so in the dead of summer it was a nice cool drive. Little did I know moments to come after my life would change. We rounded a curve and hit a straight away .. the car went out of control hitting a utility pole crashing on my side. The door was caved in on my side. I remember waking up first from the initial crash.. realizing I was stuck as I tried to lift myself out.. I knew I was in a really bad situation. I couldn’t feel pain in the moment, I was terrified..  I was yelling for help and thank God people had already stopped to call for help. I couldn’t believe I was conscious.. my date was passed out.  I turned to look and three cars were pulled over. A woman yelled out to me that help was on its way and to stay calm( I wish I knew who those people were to thank them). I passed out after that. The next thing I knew a team of officers were surrounding the car. Someone was holding my hand telling me things might get loud,and they were about to get me out of the car. They had to use the jaws of life to get the door off of me. I heard the crunch and a pain so excruciating I wanted to die.

Fast forward, my injuries from the accident included a shattered pelvis. Five areas were affected. A ruptured bladder,internal bleeding, lacerated liver, fractured ribs, and a wound on my back. I was being held together by the hands of God almighty the entire time. I was in ICU for 10 days, the hospital for a month and a half and rehab 3 times a week for 2 weeks . I had a journey ahead of me and still do, I had no clue of. I had to learn to walk again, and still have weakness in my left side and struggle day to day. But I’m healing and I’m believing for complete restoration.  My date walked away from the hospital that night without a scratch.

 

I remember one of the first days being moved to my new place in the hospital after days in ICU , I was told I was going to have a new therapist, I wasn’t excited one bit about it either.. I’m a creature of habit and once I get use to someone I don’t like a lot of change. I was moved to the orthopedic floor and some guy named Chad was going to be helping me learn to get in a wheel chair on my own and well little did I know he became one of the most influential people in my recovery process.. I remember initially meeting him and he was soo nice and full of joy I couldn’t get over it. He was just happy… He introduced himself and let it be known he would be torturing me. I was like okay, lets get it over with..

After our session was done and the nurses had done their duty he looked at me and asked ” How are you doing?” and I was like what do you mean… who asks that In a circumstance like this… I was baffled and the he pointed at my heart, and asked again “How are you doing in there?” I broke down immediately and started crying. I wasn’t doing good at all and no one had bothered to ask.. he was the first person to ask anything of that nature. My heart was hurting really bad and I was in real life pain.. he said the sentiments ” You died” and I was confused at first because I was alive sitting in front of him but He returned with ” You have to let the Delanie you were before now, die, You’re no longer her. Everything is different now” and it all made sense.

Everything I was use to doing, my life style, I was active, I worked 8 hours a day, everything was going to be different, and at this point in time no one knew about my walking abilities and how or when it would come back. My family prepared our house to be wheelchair accessible.  An alarm went off… I HAD A CATASTROPHIC ACCIDENT AND MY LIFE MAY NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. This was real life.. not a dream. Days to come I struggled how I wished and hoped it was all a dream.. I recalled different movies and shows and thought to myself this only happens on t.v. or in nightmares and I was ready to wake up..But It was real life.. this nightmare was REAL!!! I knew immediately I had to do everything in my power to get back to normal..When my Aunt was taking care of me she would remind me, things could’ve been worse and its so true it could have been. I could’ve been paralyzed or left for dead or had head trauma. God made up his mind that wouldn’t be the case and so did I .. I wanted the old me back so bad and I struggled letting who I was go and still do.

That night I died, the only way I’m here right now is by God Almighty!!! Everyone from the officers at the crash site, doctors and nurses all said no one survives something like that. How the impact affected an area that Is made for trauma, the pelvis in women is designed to birth children , how the only breaks were in the pelvis ring..(the big question that lingered was would I be able to have children and yes is the answer, I most definitely should and was repaired to be able to )  how my spin wasn’t affected.. Or any other area of my body, how if that impact happened on my chest I wouldn’t be here writing this now.

Today marks a year since part of me died, but boy did my God show out in bringing me back to LIFE!!! The active side of my life hasn’t been the same andI dont run 4 times a week like I use to or hit the gym every free minute I have. Its been a process each and every day and with it has come so many ups and downs and many victories and all Glory goes to God! The day I was released I walked out of the hospital.

 I WALKED!!!. GREAT IS MY LORD!!! HE WHO GIVES LIFE!!! 

I recall encountering multiple people over this past year and their own stories of life to death of a loved one in a very similar accident to mine but ended in a very different way. It was a constant reminder of how thankful I should be that I didn’t end up worse off than I was. How the lives of these people were unraveled and how I easily could’ve been just a cross on the side of the road, I’m so thankful that’s not where my story ended. After nearly loosing my life and struggling to get it back to normal all I want to do is LIVE!!! And share the goodness that is our Lord and Savior, who gives life giving power!!! 

How life is worth living and no matter what you’re to face and go through in this life, nothing can be mended back together without the power of Jesus Christ

In Romans 8:28 Says ” And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

God can turn any situation around! Like he did for me.. My life was a burning bridge with no hope, crumbled to the ground. And he has been so faithful to bring back my health and slowly my abilities are coming back and has placed many people in my life along the way, instruments of God to help me get back on track. No matter what you go through, Just trust him. I read a quote recently that said

Do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to COME?”

And reading that it has been so much my life. I have been angry and hurt that something out of my control happened to me. And changed my life.. Typically I’ve always been a very careful cautious person never pushing my luck.. and grew up that way. But something out of my control happened.

Through my accident I was going through a living breathing HELL!!! I don’t curse but I was truly living HELL on earth . And God has shown himself so big and been so faithful to restore so much back to me. And this side of life I’m living hasn’t been so bad. Starting over in my hometown has been truly blessed like I would have never dreamed. All within this year I have traveled , started a business and grown closer to friends like never before.

Waking up this morning It felt like it was my birthday, I woke up with a thankful heart that my time on earth didn’t come to an end this day last year, how much life I’ve been able to live and how so much more life is left to live, I look forward to the day when I have a family of my own and this year I’ve been able to see my friends and families lives growing . How I’ve been able to be apart of so much .. I got a text from a friend today saying she was thankful God sparred me and how thankful she was for me in her life. It made me pause a minute and think , so many times we live our lives just going through the motions, but we have so much impact on those around us. We carry life everywhere we go and through my accident I have seen that first hand. I want my life to carry impact and give life with each person I encounter. If you’ve read this today I hope you got something out of it. We’re not granted tomorrow and life is so fragile. We all think were invincible until the inevitable.

With Love xoxo- Delanie

 

 

 

 


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